Armed clowns, accidental bullets, same story

Armed troops and accidental discharges go together like peanut butter and dumb luck - if you’ve ever worn a uniform, you know what I mean. In the Army, you can pretty much count on a few “negligent discharges” happening, whether someone admits it or not. I once watched an O-4 outside the Speicher chow hall rip five rounds into a sand bucket because he thought his Beretta was cleared, and he just stood there stunned, muttering “But I already checked safe.” That’s not even rare - it’s practically tradition. Now, with the Army switching everyone over to the SIG Sauer M17 pistol (which is basically the military version of the P320, famous for sometimes firing on its own), it feels like we’re all just waiting for some poor soul to catch a bullet over the dumbest thing, like fighting over a Cubano sandwich or a falafel in the DFAC. Seriously, back in the day, at least Barney Fife only got one bullet for his revolver, and he had to keep it in his shirt pocket because he’d otherwise accidentally shoot his own foot. Now we’ve got select-fire M16A4 rifles, belt-fed M249 SAWs, and sidearms that might just “desk pop” themselves if you look at them sideways. Honestly, I’m not even worried about weapons getting stolen anymore. I’m more nervous about someone getting sent to Alligator Alcatraz - not for losing a rifle, but for daring to smuggle a torta into the chow hall.